is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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