with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Your penis caused this!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
