Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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