Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
