There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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