hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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