Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
