Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
