what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
well you can't waste a boner
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Randomize