dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
