i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
