The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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