people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
They took my balls.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
