My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
