it hurts more in the daytime
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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