I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
