I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
