He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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