We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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