im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
