I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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