New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
