Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize