Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
