her vagine was all disorganized.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
