you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
