if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
