whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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