I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
