When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i drank out of a bidet.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
