I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
