You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
