did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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