Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Drunk is not a location!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize