Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
