Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
