Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
