I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
