he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
