Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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