i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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