My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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