I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
