WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
