And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize