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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b

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• (415): View more from California

  It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me

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