But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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