Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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