nut hugger
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
