everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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