remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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