I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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