Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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