Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
