I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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