Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
