i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
