ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize