Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
