I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
someone owes me an orgasm
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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