Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
