We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
