i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
