Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she told me i tasted like america
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
