There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
