Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize