i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
