just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
